Educate yourself!

19th October - Grange Over Sands, Cumbria

There are so many opportunities to feed your brain if you take the initiative and take advantage of them. Sometimes you need to do more than sit at home and wait for them to drop through you door...but they are there! This one is about to drop straight into your inbox, so no excuses. 

The Irish Sea, and the rest of UK waters are undergoing a change.  Finally, at the highest level, it has been recognised that we need to manage our seas far better than we have in the past in order to secure a sustainable future for everything in it, and everything that relies on it (US!!!!).

So if you are interested, want to be in the know or be a part of it all, get yourselves to this marine conference where a whole host of interested parties will be coming together to celebrate achievements, delve into the issues and work on solutions to tackling the problems.  There will be careers advice from all aspects of the marine sector, and two spectacular speakers who will ignite motivation to start doing something special; Professor Callum Roberts and BBC's Paul Rose are there to share and shout about our seas. 

October 19th, Grange Over Sands, Cumbria. 

Book here: www.irishsea.org

Miss it, Miss out!

Method in the Madness or Madness in the Method?

Hugh's discard campaign

CELEBRITIES are storming into the world of seafood and bringing with them an uprising against various topics and issues, the most prominent being good ole Hugh with his fish fight against discards.  The fact that they are using their famous faces for this cause is fantastic as it gets them to the public's attention.  The problem with this is that they pick their fights and run with it, which can sometimes obscure other pressing issues by the media frenzy that takes place on said topic.

The fish fight has not only created national outrage at the presence of discarding and outlined one of the issues with the current quota system, but also suggested that to help rectify this, we should be more open with our repertoire of seafood we eat.  In principle, great! This is one of my major talking points - eat a variety to take pressure off the current popular choices. But now everyone is focussed on this, the other issues are being compromised as the media and politicians scramble to deal with the quota system as a priority, over everything else it seems.  So, we either need to convince more famous faces to take up the reigns on some of the other critical issues, or we need to make sure a more rounded awareness of fisheries problems are available and accessible in the public domain.  And in the light of this, I think fishing methods are a good place to start...

Perfect hiding spot

Loss or destruction of habitat is one of the major causes of species loss and many of the species currently under threat of extinction are so because we have changed, degraded or removed their homes, natural food sources and security.  It's not just because we have gone out with guns and nets and continued our usual selfish behaviour of taking more than can be given.  Pandas need bamboo forest, bees need flowers, birds need trees, and marine species need the right habitat to function, eat, sleep, hunt and hide.  Therefore I aim to talk about fishing methods from this perspective...and mull over the most destructive methods that not only result in the bycatch (things caught that were not the target) and discarding everyone hates so much, but also habitat destruction to boot.

A fun day out fishing!

Question.  Do you have any knowledge of how fish is caught, other than people sat under enormous brollies looking fairly downbeat by the side of a canal...? If you think it is all done by a wee wooden boat with a pond dipping net in the calm coastal waters, you are mistaken! Not all fish are nice enough to mosey on up to your baited line and obligingly grab hold.  In fact, in the UK, we have lots of lazy fish that like to hang out on or close to the sea bed rather than at the ready to leap out onto the boat at a moments notice.  And because of this, the dredge and the trawl were invented.

The trawl can either be mid water or a bottom fishing method, where nets are trawled across the sea bed or in the water column in order to fish out pelagic (free swimming) or bottom dwellers.  Slightly less destructive than the dredge as they aim not to disturb the substrate as much (sediments and sea floor) by skimming over it. 

Chinese Trawl Scars

Bottom Trawl Net

Dredges on the other hand are beasty things that actively seek to pull up the seabed in order to dislodge creatures that like to snuggle down in the sediments, such as langoustine (scampi) and scallops.  This disrupts everything in the first few centimetres of the seabed, creates a great cloud of sediment that will either dissipate with the currents to be relocated or hang suspended until it can settle again, upsetting anything that likes sunlight and uninterrupted sea beds.  Obviously anything sat on top of the sediment is also destroyed, which can involve species such as ancient, slow growing sea fans, delicate sea pens, anemones, valuable sponges and the likes.  In one single swoop.  Even if we think on an individual basis these things are not that important (which, incidentally, I don’t!) the marine world is JUST like the land, where there is a balance of species working together to create the systems and processes that we all see and as much as you may not like some species, they all have a role to play.  If you have been watching the lovely Chris Packham on the Secrets of our Living Planet, you will grasp this concept very quickly after he has explored the relationships between Snails and Tigers, and Brazil nuts and Agoutis and various other random connections that make the world go round.  

Scallop Dredge Net - imagine a net made of metal rings attached to this frame...

Now, to save you having to read paragraph after paragraph of facts and figures, I am going to use the wonder of bullet points to help illustrate why dredging and trawling need to be regulated, managed and improved.

- some use nets made from rope, some from metal. Yes, metal nets.  Imagine that rolling over a field of orchids and hedgehogs.

- some dredges have metal teeth that dig into the seabed

- some trawls use two boats to pull the nets as they are too big for one to manage...the mouths of the nets can be THOUSANDS of metres square, and the analogy of how many football fields you can fit inside one is often used to illustrate the size they can reach.  That is big!

- trawl nets can be dragged for hours - imagine how much of the bycatch is alive after that (hint: none?!) and imagine the ride the catch gets before it is finally hauled out

- the length of time the nets are dragged also reduces the value of the catch as the more damaged it becomes after collecting at the cod end (end of the net) and builds up

- duration of bottom trawls also affects how much of the seabed is damaged

……..

A Prawn Trawl Haul - Spot the prawns...

Fact. Prawn trawls are notoriously the worst for destruction and bycatch, with over 70% of each trawl consisting of (mainly dead) non target species

Fact. smaller boats with smaller gear cause less damage (now that’s just common sense) so we need to support our LOCAL SMALL FLEETS

Fact. Smaller gear can be more selective and therefore reduce bycatch

So I am hoping that from this, you will gather that trawling and dredging for seafood are highly destructive for both vital habitat and species sustainability.

However, I am not totally naive.  To produce the sheer volume of seafood required to feed the world, a ban on these methods is not going to happen overnight, if at all.  Ever.  But consumers have a strong voice, so if we encourage the use of less destructive methods and no go zones (*MCZs!!!) it could be one huge step forward for a more sustainable fishing industry.  Trouble is, fishing is often a way of life and trying to take away something that has been the lifeblood of generation after generation, is not an easy task.

 

Here are a few more bullet points for you;

- small potting boats, boats that deploy lobster and crab pots along the coasts, account for the majority of our catch of those species.  Pots have low bycatch and a high rate of live return of bycatch, good management practices, almost zero habitat destruction and provide jobs for hundreds around our coasts

- longlines, although they may consist of thousands of hooks deployed from a single vessel and can result in bycatch of sharks, birds, turtles etc. have measures that can be taken to greatly reduce bycatch but DON'T CAUSE HABITAT DAMAGE AS WELL

- Purse seine nets are mid water and DON'T CAUSE HABITAT DAMAGE (although again, are associated with emotive bycatch such as dolphins and sharks)

- Static fishing gear such as gill nets DON'T CAUSE HABITAT DAMAGE, well, barely any. 

...can you see where I am going with this?

It's worth taking some time to think about.

__________________________________________________________________________________

*MCZs – Marine Conservation Zones.  The UK is currently in the process of designating a network of these zones to encourage better management of our seas.  If you support this idea, you can find out more at http://www.irishsea.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/ISCZ_Final_Summary_FINAL.pdf

OR become a friend of the MCZs in your area and get involved in the biggest move towards better managed seas this country has ever seen; http://www.wildlifetrusts.org/MCZfriends

Free Workshops! Make Local Seafood Net You More Business

The Wild Oceans project has been heavily involved in inspiring consumers to overhaul the way they consume seafood in Cumbria.  There is a need to turn our attention to local suppliers and local industry, and open up our repertoire of species in order to begin making the county more responsible in the way we manage this precious resource.  But consumers are not the only aspect in this need for change; local industry and the 'middlemen' are also important, which is where the focus of this post lies.  The project is teaming up with a local cookery school in order to provide free workshops designed to link catering businesses with a more sustainable approach to the way they source and use seafood.  The 'middlemen' are in a prime position to help influence both supply and demand through their choices, therefore are an important part of the road to change. The workshops will focus on outlining the range of species we get in the Irish Sea, where to get them from in order to support local business, how to use them within the business and also how to market the ethical adaptations in order to net more profit.  

So, if YOU are involved in a Cumbrian or north western business that deals with seafood, you would be crazy to miss this!

Book your spot through Lucycooks as on the poster, or me at nicolat@cumbriawildlifetrust.org.uk

Summer Seafood Success!

Seafood Road Show in Barrow Park

Wild Oceans has been travelling about the county this summer, taking the tasting road show out and about to get everyone excited about edible ocean delights!  With a variety of help, we have managed to get thousands of people to try something different, support local seafood and therefore local business.  We have been to Whitehaven,  Bassenthwaite, Braithwaite, St Bees, Muncaster, Newby Bridge and Barrow to name but a few, with a  variety of support from the aquariums, restaurants, venues and local business people.  Each event has involved food (which I find to be a fantastic encouragement for getting people interested in what you have to say!)  From miniature nibblets in marquees, to 5 course taster luncheons, many people have now been encouraged to consider our thoughts and ideas on how to get local seafood a market in the county to support our local industry and remove the miles from our seafood.

The major issues faced in the county involve a lack of market for day to day catches, unsustainable catch methods from some local, and many foreign or non local boats, and consumer culture and lack of diversity in our diets.  The Wild Oceans project is designed to instigate change to reduce the impact of these issues.  The events have been a huge success so far;

Course & lunch with Food & Company

The 5 course taster menu at The Cottage in the Wood was designed to bring together people from around the county with some influence over serving more sustainable seafood from the county, in the county.  All the food was locally sourced, and discussion was instigated to form relationships and share ideas.  Time spent at the Aquarium of the Lakes took advantage of the venue to inspire people (with free food of course) to think more carefully about their seafood choices, which is a method that has been rolled out to many other events and venues resulting in a high level of contact with the public.  Talk and taster events and courses on how to deal with seafood have opened up a forum for questions and enabled people to remove some of the unknown about dealing with fresh, local seafood rather than frozen breaded ‘fish’ from goodness knows where.

Beached Art 2012 - St Bees Beach

The summer has concluded with a mega marine beach event at St Bees beach on the west coast of Cumbria, with a whole host of marine activities and events aimed to encourage awareness and create an interesting learning environment.  The seafood road show was on tour, providing local coley, crab, kipper and sea bass for all to try.  We also had a representative from the local industry, Esk Valley Seafoods, with a whole host of local seafood, ready to answer questions and shed some light on buying local, fresh seafood.

The success of summer has made all the work of Wild Oceans worthwhile, and hopefully there will be opportunity to roll out similar events and activities nation wide to really spread the messages that will help the UK be sustainable pioneers, retain an age old industry and make our seas last a few more lifetimes at least.

Give The Big Five a Break!

Our seas may be slightly murkier than our Tropical counterparts, but our UK ocean climate is PERFECT for a stunning variety of sealife that makes our seas, and our plates, happier places!  So why is it that we’re dead set on only consuming the big five? Now I am going to pause to see how many of the five you can guess…

*Pause*

Bluefin Tuna at Market - GreenProphet.com

Cod. Tuna. Haddock. Salmon. Prawns. 
  
Surprised? I would imagine that most or all of these are more than a little familiar to most in some form or another, whether battered, reformed, breaded or covered in marie rose sauce. So why is that??? When our waters have so much to offer, how is it that we are so focussed on these guys? 


The days of the daily special seem to be slipping away, where home menus and restaurants would use whatever seafood was being landed that day or that week.  We now tend to plan in advance, fill our freezers with breaded and battered cod and haddock and print our restaurant menus for the month, quarter, year or even permanently and in doing so, lose our market for the variety of species caught throughout the seasons.


If you sat down right now and wrote a list of all the UK seafood species you had tried...you may actually be surprised at how many were on the list but chances are the majority of them would have been at fancy restaurants and not in your own kitchen... have we become scared of fresh fish? Somewhere along the way, our abilities to cook with raw ingredients is diminishing and the convenience market is taking hold, resulting in the loss of skill and knowledge that allows us to grab a whole fish, prep it, fillet it and know how to cook it. If we keep our fishmongers alive, the only part of that we need to do at home is the cooking, but that is a whole other story that I'll save for another day!

Omega Three Rich Mackerel

Ironically, seafood really can be the ultimate fast food, with super speedy dishes that are ticking all the government health boxes from your Omega 3's to your 5 a days to your proteins and careful calorie intakes.  You can create a nutritious, delicious plate of fishy goodness in the time it takes the battered 'white fish' to sizzle in the oven, and it will put a happy, healthy smile on your face.   But if it's that easy, why don't we do it? It would take organisation on the part of the consumer, a better understanding of how to cook with fresh fish, a new outlook on the convenience of fresh food compared to oven dishes and a general change in consumer behaviour which is not likely to occur overnight! Other than that, its simple. Well actually it is, but so is recycling, and making sure you put rubbish in a bin rather than the local park...doesn't mean it happens!



The convenience industry is partly to blame, pandering to what they believe is the consumers choice but actually adding to the problem by offering such a limited range of species creating much of the demand that leads to the overtargetting of our beloved five.  But its a catch 22...the suppliers cannot be held 100% accountable when the consumer isn't taking the oppor-tuna-ty (ha ha) to broaden their fishy horizons and take advantage of mother natures ocean bounty.  Chippies can be just the same...how many do you know that have anything other than cod and haddock on the menu? But we need to be willing to try the other species when they ARE on offer...or where is the incentive?


If we are taking out all of one species it doesn't just mean our tuna melts may be a thing of the past, but each species has a key part to play in the wider picture and loss of one can mortally effect many others.  Everything has gotta eat...and if we remove all their food, life gets hard. Same goes for removal of predators - it doesn't mean nemo has a safe and happy life, it means nemo is out-competed by the thriving fish that also no longer have the predators.  

Leading the way - a Whitby Chippy broadens its horizons

So.  Its time to start diversifying and taking a little of everything instead of everything of a little. Betcha if I got you to do the Cod test, you would struggle to tell between Cod, Whiting, Coley, Pollock etc.  In fact, when you next buy a frozen battered fishy dish, its worth checking out the labels to see what white fish you are ACTUALLY eating, as 'white fish' could be any of the above and more...same in the fish and chip shops when it just says 'fish and chips'. 


One or two simple changes could make a huge difference, so next time you are looking at the battered haddock in the freezer department, maybe take a wander over to your fishmongers instead, or at the very least the wet counter in the supermarket and get inspired, TRY SOMETHING DIFFERENT!


This is a taster of what our local seas have to offer; Bream, Cod, Haddock, Coley, Whiting, Hake, Ling, Pollack, Monkfish, Mackerel, Herring, Eel, Halibut, Turbot, Brill, Plaice, Witch, Dab, Lemon Sole, Dover Sole, Sea Trout, Salmon, Lobster, Crab, Langoustine, Mussels, Scallops, Oysters, John Dory, Red Mullet, Grey Mullet, Sea Bass, Gurnard, Squid, Megrim, Cockles, Shrimp, Octopus...should I go on?

If you want a lovely reminder of some of these, you can be the proud owner of a beautiful fishy bag to collect your spoils in, with a handy shopping list of British delights printed on the side to inspire you. 

http://www.cumbriawildlifetrust.org.uk/shop-for-wildlife/448.html


We are a country of diversity - lets add seafood to this list and give the continent a run for its money.

Eco Label Overload

If you don’t have a degree, masters and PhD in deciphering the eco labelling systems for seafood, it can be a pretty daunting prospect when looking to make more sustainable choices in everyday life…With the notion of sustainability becoming more and more recognised, many institutes, organisations and self-certified companies have produced eco labels and splashed them about on products from tuna to pet food to supermarket sashimi (well, maybe not quite there yet).  


But has this explosion been helpful to consumers, or is it just making things even more confusing?!  It's like everyone has gone out and bought themselves a label machine!


The ‘Dolphin Friendly’ phenomenon was the first major campaign to hit the shelves after some canny conservationists used this charismatic creature to inspire passion amongst seafood consumers, resulting in a wave of reform and legislation for fishing methods with dolphin bycatch (this makes for some interesting reading; http://www.eurocbc.org/page322.html).  Images of dolphins are now commonplace on cans of tuna, although now the hype has cooled, I do wonder how many people would consider even this label when buying tuna for their sarnies?


So if you are one of those conscientious consumers trying to do their best in their buying habits, how can you wade through the sea of seafood labels, professing that each product pertains from a sustainable, credible source that will help save the seas in one fell swoop?


Wanna make it worse? There’s always Google! Try to find the answer, and instead you find so many more questions. Or is that just me? 

 One of my major issues with labels, and possibly one instant way to discount many of them as credible, is to look at who is doing the accreditation.  If it’s done within the same organisation and not an independent source, then common sense should dictate that applying trust to those labels is a little naive.  It would be a little like me writing myself a dating ad in order to make myself irresistible to someone, but using poetic licence, or downright untruths to make them take the bait! It may read a little like this (the truth is in brackets); 


“I’m a stunning brunette (blonde) with a PhD in the football league tables (MSc in Marine Environmental Management and have my very own soapbox that I like to use every now and then) who can drink a pint with the best of them (OK, so that one is true…).  I love spending all my spare time watching the football, or driving my partner to their football games, or staying in to cook the dinner while the other half is out at the pub (I don’t think I need to comment on that).  I am funny (sarcastic) intelligent (I have my moments) and never expect my other half to attend family events.”


So, sexism aside, do you catch my drift?  


Anyway, getting to the point, some labels have more credibility than others, which will take the hundreds down to a manageable number.  Then you have to play spot the difference to ensure the copycats don’t catch you out, as, for example, many have copied the MSC (Marine Stewardship Council) label as closely as they can without ending up with a lawsuit (or so it seems, maybe it is just coincidence…)


There are, of course, problems even with the most credible systems for labelling ‘sustainable’ seafood.  The MSC in particular have come under some heavy fire for accrediting some fisheries with less than perfect methods;

http://politicsoftheplate.com/?p=254
http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2011/jan/06/fish-marine-stewardship-council


But the point, I suppose, is that we are in a situation where almost no fishery can be considered completely sustainable due to the sheer numbers we are having to supply, therefore maybe we have to make the best of a bad lot? And therefore certify the best of the bad lot? A little defeatist maybe, but also fairly realistic.  In order to keep up with the need for seafood, welfare pretty much goes out the window as discussed in my last post, and fishing methods have been developed to maximise catch, often with very little regard for any other impacts that occur as a result.


So, to try and end on a positive, all faults considered, I believe some of the labels and systems are a great place to start if you do your research and don’t just think that, because some clever marketing exec has put some words on a packet that include ‘responsible’ and ‘sustainable’, it automatically means they are applying the Ronseal approach in that ‘it does exactly what it says on the tin’.  Instead, I would like to take you back to a short film my parents made me watch over and over in my childhood, of a scary looking guy trying to entice a small child into his car with sweeties…ending with ‘IT.COULD.BE.A.TRICK’. 

If you find a label that you have some faith in, it is at least a place to start on the long and winding road to a more sustainable way of life on the seafood front.  I’m afraid I am not going to spell it out for you either, as everyone has their own opinion as to what is best practice, and what is not. But combine a little time, with a little common sense, and you can start to make a simple, but real differences to your purchases that in time (and in large enough volume) will have a positive impact on our seafood industry. You will also find the three core messages of my project will start to occur naturally in purchases; 


• Buy local (no brainer really)
• Try something different (don’t stick to the same old thing and add to unsustainable demand)
• Pay attention to fishing methods used to obtain your purchase


The following document may also be something to add to your bedtime reading list…it made its way on to mine and was a very interesting read.


http://www.foodandwaterwatch.org/reports/de-coding-seafood-eco-labels-europe/


Good luck, and please tell me how you are getting on with sustainable seafood labels, I really want to know.  Honest!

Fishy Welfare

 I can't put it off any longer! So here it is; my first offerings as the new writer of our Wild Oceans blog. 

My predecessor, Lindsay, has done a stellar job of wading through the fishy puns so I fear from now they will be scarce. However, I will endeavour to keep it light and fluffy (or smooth and scaly) while I explore some of the topics and issues that I feel are worth some attention (whilst offending as few people as possible!)

Photo: David Falconer

This may be a little off piste, but it’s something that I have pondered for many a year, and after giving my first Wild Oceans talk last month, the subject was raised; Fishy Welfare.  Don’t worry, I am not an animal rights activist about to stuff my views down your throat, but I am keen to explore the idea which is so apparent with our land creatures but seems to escape the fishy world altogether.

To illustrate this point, I would like to call from my memory banks an interesting conversation I had with a vegetarian (you may have some idea where this is headed). I often ask why people are vegetarian as the answers are interesting and vary greatly between individuals…my biggest question always stems from vegetarians that eat seafood. 

When queried about this concept, my willing vegetarian responded with ‘because fish aren’t cute and fluffy’…this intrigued me as it highlighted the fact that we have very little regard as a nation, or a race for that matter, for the welfare of our seafood.  Is this because fish are not cute and fluffy? If you have ever seen a juvenile trunk fish (or pea fish as I like to call it, which illustrates its size nicely) or a stunning school of mackerel, or the multi-coloured fins of a gurnard (I shall now pause while you click over to Google Images!) you can surely appreciate how awesome these creatures are!

Being a diver, I am very fortunate to have witnessed the beauty of many marine species first hand, but does the fact that many don’t have this access, mean we view them as commodities rather than animals?  We like to cluck about free range chicken and eggs, and are saddened by images of poorly kept creatures in cages…but not a tear is shed for the gulping faces of fish in a net;

Therefore my musing is…we are becoming more and more concerned about the sustainability of our seafood, but will we ever be as concerned about the welfare as we are for our cute and fluffies?  SHOULD we be as concerned…? And if the answer is yes, how is this possible on the scale we now need to supply?  Maybe it is something we have slipped under the carpet as populations have grown, demand has exploded and welfare cannot be a consideration in order to keep up with demand?  I would be very interested to know your thoughts and views on this! 

Courtesy of WWF

Courtesy of WWF

Courtesy of WWF

What cleans sand and looks like a crab?

A crab. They clean sand. That's why they're so brilliant! Our beaches would be much more gross if these miniature 10 legged binmen didn't scavenge all the crap off it all day and night. That's the literal sort of crap. You know, crap.

So I have a little bit of news. We crazy marine people at Cumbria Wildlife Trust have been playing musical chairs with our projects (no one knows how to have fun like we do), and as of today I am covering the maternity leave of the marine conservation officer for the North West Wildlife Trusts (and pooing myself a little bit about it). Therefore I have handed the reins of the Wild Oceans project over to Miss Nikki Taylor, whose hair is even curlier than mine. Hmmff.

Here's Nikki doing an excellent impression of a fishmonger.

So where have I left the state of seafood in Cumbria? Well, thankfully, not the same as I found it - there have actually been major steps forward during the last year.
Booths, aka 'Cubicles' to my avid readers (hi Mum, Dad), despite more often than not putting their 'catch of the day' as Loch Duart salmon (I would think that farmed salmon counts as a 'catch' only as much as a cow or a sheep does), Booths have engaged with the Marine Conservation Society on fish sustainability supermarket surveys. Booths didn't do that well this year, but they're keen to learn which is absolutely fantastic and for which they should be commended. Go Boothicles, I commend you! I said someone should do it.
Also, a new fishmongers opened in Cockermouth and Fyne Fish may even be, wait for it..... sourcing some fish from the West Coast, hoorah! Be sure to keep the pressure up to make sure they support our local small fishing boats whenever they can. And ignore the sign they have up saying they can get you shark if you want it - I've had a word and anyone who enquires about shark is reported straight to me. Ok for legal reasons I should tell you that is a lie.
We have learned that the people of Cumbria are willing to buy a variety of locally sourced seafood and not be picky about species, but that there are still very few places which sell it, while I have learned that the fishing industry is a little more opaque than I'd hoped, and after all this time there is still much that I don't know. Brilliant.

What I do know, however, is that Nikki will do a fantastic job of finishing the project for me and might even squeeze a few more answers out of this mysterious industry than I have. In the meantime, I insist that you watch Monty Halls and his new series The Fisherman's Apprentice on BBC1. Did you know, for example, the nice little under 10m boats who do the least environmental damage and have the longest family history in fishing (generally speaking) make up the vast majority of our fishing fleet, yet only receive about 4% of the fishing quota, the rest going to a few big organisations with big stinky boats? (Thanks to the Guardian for doing that bit of research for me, although I improved it with 'stinky'). Hmm not good is it. And if you're not interested, then just watch it because Monty is a dish.
                                                                                                                                        
And what of me? Don't worry I'll be around. I'll be popping up in all parts of the north west, when you least expect it (or least give a crap, which is maybe now?). You might not even know I'm there (if my events are a flop and no one shows up) but I will be. And I'll be chanting my new mantra '127, 127, 127'. Catchy isn't it? I'll be whispering '127' into your ears while you sleep, in fact I've been flashing it subliminally while you've been reading. '127, 127....'
Find out '127 what?' here: http://www.wildlifetrusts.org/saveourmczs and defintely watch the video of Nick Baker, I'm going to nominate his eyebrows for a BAFTA.

So it's been hard work, I mean fun. But I'm leaving you in very capable hands and would just like to say thank you very much for reading.

Disclaimer: We didn't really decide jobs by a selection process involving musical chairs, there were applications and interviews and everything.

"Hi Lindsay, thanks for coming. To confirm, you are here today to interview for the position of marine conservation officer; this is a temporary position to cover a maternity leave. Let me introduce the other members of the panel *introduces panel*. Now, to explain how the interview will work, in a moment I'll start the music and we will remove one of the chairs..."

I can't believe it's not batter

Oh dear more than a month without blogging. Where did January go? I'm still eating my selection pack!

Okay what can I tell ya... well last week, 12 years after I left Cockermouth school promising myself I'd never go back, I went back. The things I do for the love of the seas... Actually it was totally brilliant; the wonderful lovely super cool chick who is Head of Food Technology has kindly agreed to do some sustainable fish food tech lessons this year - what a legend. Ok so Vicky also happens to be one of my fellow inmates from Cockermouth School back in the days before the Eco Centre and the astro turf (I think? I didn't really play 'sports'...), when the only way to wear your tie was with the majority of it hidden out of sight inside your shirt and only the tiniest sliver of the thin end remaining on show, and when people thought it was funny to put cornflakes in other people's lockers. Who does that? I think it was like, a whole box!

So I went up to my old school, met one of my old school mates, and we sat talking about work like actual grown ups. Then as the current school kids came in to collect their bags or iPads or whatever, and called my mate 'Miss', it occured to me how old I must look to them. Then I made a passing remark about how leggings should not be allowed as part of school uniform, and realised how old I actually am. Then I wept at the passing of the years. Do you know, I always thought that by 30 my hair would be better.

Erm, I think this blog is supposed to be about fish... You say 'fish', I say 'chips'!

So last Tuesday, 'Seniors' in Lancashire was named Britain's best fish shop in the National Fish & Chip Awards 2012 (no I'm not making up these awards; they're real awards) and in the same week the Radio Cumbria breakfast show ran an item asking for the listeners' views on the best fish & chip shop in the county. Naturally folk were texting and emailing in to the show, naming their favourite chippy, and cries of  'the lightest batter!' and 'the fluffiest chips!' were resounding around Cumbria. All the while, a little voice in a little flat in Burneside bellowed out: 'Stramongate chip shop in Kendal is the best because they care about the oceans!'.

Yes I did bellow those words, and I also texted a slightly more literate version of them to the Radio Cumbria show, and yes Ian Timms did read it out (in a rather bored voice I might add; apparently I still haven't cracked the 'make sustainable interesting' egg). And when he finished reading my text there was a tumbleweed moment the likes of which I haven't felt since I last told my magic tractor joke, (it turned into a field....). Righty ho, just me then. So fluffy chips are higher up the agenda than the plight of the world's oceans? Seethe. What covers 70% of the Earth's surface? Hint: it's not potatoes.

Fact: there are 30 edible species of fish found around the British coast. Ok that's not a fact, I just made it up. But it's probably a non-awful estimation, I'll count them one day inbetween doing a sudoku and a jigsaw puzzle. Ok so picture your local chip shop menu - how many different kinds of fish are there? I'd wager three, at best. Fishcakes don't count; 'cakes' on the end implies no 'fish' at the start. 

What's ga'an on??

Well what it is, is a bit of a situation. Coley, pollack, whiting, hake... all good in batter. Some of the bigger flatfish - witch, flounder? Good in batter. Mullet... mmm gooooood in batter! Hells bells even mackerel is good in batter, as we know thanks to Hugh Curly-Whittingstall's 'mackerel bap' movement. Well this conundrum gives me bowel movement. Because it doesn't matter how delicious these other species are and how much cheaper they might be than cod and haddock (I'm not even mentioning sustainability! Yet...), we'll never go in to a chippy and ask for 'flounder and chips twice' without knowing exactly what we're going to get, and without anyone buying them, the chippies won't bother selling them. So we never get to try them. Catch. Twenty. Two.

The answer, I thought, was so obvious. That what we needed was a trail blazer! A chippy so brave, so passionate about the sustainability of our world, that they courageously take the plunge and expand their menus... *clasps hands together, eyes raised to the sky*.

Bryces Chippy in Wigton and Stramongate Chip Shop in Kendal: "Hellooooo?!"

So we've got them! Bryces and Stramongate have both introduced other species to their menu in an attempt to broaden our horizons and reduce the cod and haddock migration from the sea to our mouths.
How'd it go guys?
"Cumbrians don't want change".
Oh...

Oh dear so those trail-blazers courageously cast their nets a little wider and served up an alternative species or two and the customers didn't take the bait. How disheartening! Well, let's face it, Cumbrians are very savvy, and really there's no way that anyone is going to coax a fiver out of a Cumbrian's pocket in exchange for an unknown entity. Erm, I may not have mentioned this, ok I may have only mentioned this five times (today), but coley is cheaper than cod and tastes the same if not better when battered.If it's value for money you want, then cod is no friend of yours.

So Cumbrians, I need your help. Hell, the oceans need your help! Chip shops can't do it on their own, they need you behind them. Here's the deal: next time you see a sustainable option on your chippie's menu, in the not-quite words of Michael Jackson, Just Eat It.
And the world will be a better plaice.

Merry Fishmas and a Crabby New Year!

Hurray hurray it's Christmas, Santa is coming, mulled wine is back in the shops and I need to write a festive blog post!

Let's start with a limerick:

There was a young lady named Lins
Who said "hey, sustainable wins!"
She bought coley and mackerel,
As sustainable collateral,
And the cod ended up in the bins!

Ok that wasn't festive, unless eating a mince pie while writing it counts, in which case the project report I was writing today was very festive. And don't put cod in the bin.

How about a poem?

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even Lindsay's spouse (because she is still on the shelf).
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
Hoping Santa's not opposed to big curly hair.

Lindsay was nestled all snug in her bed,
While visions of gurnard danced in her head.
She'd had a long day disreputing cod,
And had crawled into bed, thinking 'Thank God'.

From outside near her car arose such a clatter,
That she sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
To the window she flew to see what was there,
Then returned with haste when she remembered she was bare.

The new vehicle parked right next to the Skoda,
Was giving off a strong and distinctive odour.
For Santa was here to grant Lindsay her wish, 
And his sleigh had been drawn by eight sustainable fish!

With a big smile, filleting fish so quick,
She knew in a moment it must be St Nik.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name.

Now Coley, now Pollack, now Whiting and Pouting!
On Gurnard, on Mullet, on Flounder and Herring!
To the top of the wood pile, to the top of the wall,
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!

Lindsay stood thinking 'This beggars belief',
And when they flew off breathed a sigh of relief.
St Nik with fresh fish is a welcome sight,
But not on a sleigh in the midst of the night!

But then from the roof she heard a great din,
The prancing and pawing of each little fin.
As she wound in her neck and was turning around,
Down the chimney St Nik came with a bound.

In fishmonger whites from his head to his foot,
His clothes were all tarnished with fish guts and soot.
A bundle of fish he had flung on his back,
And it smelled pretty strong when he opened his pack.

He spoke not a word but went straight to his work,
And filled Lindsay's stocking, then turned with a jerk.
'Whoa Nik' Lindsay said, moving quickly to stop him,
I'd love some fish thanks, but not in my stocking!

He sprang to his sleigh, to his fish gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
Lindsay heard him exclaim, 'ere he drove out of sight,
"Merry Fishmas to all, and all a good-night!"

Ah that turned out to be a bit of a Christmas ode to a fishmonger; Merry Christmas Nik and Kendal Fisheries! And if that wasn't festive enough, here is a picture of Nikki and me with our erm, Christmas sausages. Check out my hat!

The story behind the unflattering picture...It was taken recently when the Wild Oceans project journeyed to Muncaster Castle for the Taste Cumbria Christmas Festival. I was feeling pretty smug about going to this event because the rented stand space came with a fully erect market stall and thus negated the nasty necessity for me to bring our marquee (our marquee gives me rage). Hoorah. No marquee and a vat of mulled wine within slurping distance. AND we were directly opposite Santa's Grotto! Awesome. Apart from the slightly scruffy and small-looking reindeer. It turns out I am quite discerning about reindeer; the one with only one antler should not have been allowed in.

We worked with brown crab, which is simply CRABULOUS! It's landed locally at Ravenglass, but who knew?? If you ever eat crab in Cumbria, which you should, then you MUST ask if it is local, and if not, demand why not. Because this is something we are not short of and for which there are two lovely businesses, Muncaster Crab and Esk Valley Seafoods, who'd be happy to sell some in your direction. Crabs are mostly caught in pots which is a super sustainable, low impact fishing method but as we all know, size does matter - make sure your crab is at least 13cm in diameter so that you know it is a grown-up.

James Martin was also present at the show, making women swoon left, right, but not centre. Ok yes, centre too. Well he is quite nice. But no swooning for me, I only wanted him for one thing...

"James, James! Can you just hold my fish?"

(Clicking on this link is compulsory, by the way. http://www.wildlifetrusts.org/petitionfish)

The story of the curious oysters

"The time has come, my little friends, to talk of other things. Of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings. And why the sea is boiling hot, and whether pigs have wings". So said the Walrus to the Oysters.

Part two of the London Trilogy is the tale of  my first oyster. These little animals have received a bit of bad press recently... so I thought I'd jump on the band wagon! No just kidding, I am of course in support of eating oysters as a lovely sustainable seafood item. But while Alice in Wonderland's the Walrus and the Carpenter sung to the little oysters to lure them off down the beach in a sort of creepy abduction, I went to Borough Market.

As a former London resident I have often observed the Borough Market oyster stands and their oyster-eating customers (that's the only kind they have). Yet somehow I always felt too shy to ask for an oyster myself because I wouldn't have a clue what to do with it and would be embarrassed in front of all the knowledgeable oyster people. And I could hardly say "thanks" and pop it into my pocket to eat privately later. But during this last visit to London I decided to throw caution to the wind. Well actually I just found a friend to feel foolish with. You see, I liken novice oyster-eating to falling over:

If I fall over and embarrass myself with friends, well actually no one is surprised, and we laugh about it. If however I slip, trip or fall over when alone, I have the choice of either a) pretending I meant to do it and thus staying on the ground for a while, or b) getting up, doing an exaggerated 'silly me' face, probably accompanied by a shaking of the head and rolling of the eyes, in case anyone is looking, and then carrying on down the street trying to hide the fact that I really hurt myself.

So basically I had a friend with me to look like an idiot with, which makes it ok. And to pay for the oysters as it turned out. Winner! I mean thanks. So I went for it...

Formerly unbeknownst to me, there is a significant level of decision-making to be done when buying an oyster. This starts with whether or not to go native. Does it matter? Surely an oyster by any other name would smell as briny? Yet there are two species on sale and you must select one.

So, there's the native (or flat) oyster Ostrea edulis which is kind of round, and then there's the larger and kind of longer-shaped Pacific (or rock) oyster Crassostrea gigas. Natives/flats are well, native and look flat. The Pacific/rock oyster is from the Pacific, and resembles a rock. You really couldn't make this stuff up.

Why two species? Well, native oyster populations were thought to be less productive than desired, being a little 'averse to harsh weather conditions' as Richard Haward's Oysters puts it. The soft beggars. So in the 1960s the hardier Pacific oyster was deliberately introduced to be farmed for commercial purposes. This introduction of a non-native species was promptly followed by escapees merrily establishing populations in the wilds of the British coast (all imagine an oyster legging it over the farm walls to 'run free' and start an enormous family...). It's said that the Pacifics grow faster and spawn more frequently, and so are better suited to farming, and to outcompeting the sensitive natives as it turns out. Wise decision? Barn door, horse, bolted.

So oysters are bivalves, which is solely a revelation about their shell type. But, if you want to talk about the birds and the erm, shellfish, oysters can change sex and fertilise their own eggs. Yeh, take that! So yes, bivalves, meaning that their shell is made of two parts which can open and close. Normally when I say 'bivalves' I do the international sign for bivalves - heels of palms together, open and close hands at the fingers. Haha I know you're doing the international sign for bivalves right now....You'd like to know of some other famous bivalves? Alright let's see what I've got up my sleeve... well apart from muscles *smirk* there's scallops, clams, and mussels too.

Both oyster species are now found both wild and farmed in the UK and bivalve farming is generally great - all we need is a lil bit o substrate (rock, rope, whatever the mollusc likes to attach to), and a good water supply. Therefore this method of seafood production is uber sustainable and uber low impact on the environment. Wicked.

Second call to make: do you go large? Word of warning - the scientific name of the Pacific or rock oyster is directly translatable as "this oyster is giant and thick". Hindsight allows me to share a little wisdom with you - going for a 'large Pacific' on your first ever oyster could be a mistake. The oyster shells are all closed (this means the oysters are good and safe to eat) and obviously (but worth stating), raw. The guys on the stand (the 'shuckers') open the oyster up for you ('shuck' it) and cut them away from the shell to facilitate the tipping of the entire thing into your mouth. This you know is the etiquette in oyster-eating and only a total buffoon would do it any other way. Read on.

Thirdly, lemon juice? Tabasco sauce? Oh man. At this point I'm down the line at the table of condiments, holding my oyster-in-a-half-shell, unable to make any more decisions. MASSIVE oyster and all of its liquor in hand, I can delay no longer. Yet while I'm not known for the smallness of my mouth, I know that there is no way it will hold the entire contents of the shell. Tip it all in at once? (Shuck that!). So I gingerly held down the oyster and poured a good part of the liquor away until I felt that what was left was a manageable portion for a lady. What else have I since read in that pesky oyster-eating etiquette? That the only absolute rule that you must not break is do NOT pour out the oyster's liquor. Ooops.

And with that, in it went. Poor thing. No not the oyster - me! I'm the one standing in Borough Market, mouthful of what felt like curdled seawater. And they are considered an aphrodisiac??
"Well that's an alleged effect of the high levels of zinc contained in them"
"It's Boring Lindsay! Kick her!"
So eating oysters is considered to be a prelude to something else. Well, unless that something else is throwing up, I don't think I felt it.

The end of the tale? There was only one way for that oyster to go... no I didn't spit it out, I chewed like lightening and swallowed it down. And do you know what? I'd do it again! The bit about throwing up was just for comedic effect and while difficult to describe, oysters certainly can't be called bad... let's say complex.

And my friend? Well, apparently he didn't 'reduce the shell contents to a manageable portion for a lady' like I did. "Erm, you have a little something in your beard..."

The Idiot's Guide to what NOT to do with Gurnard (I'm an idiot, here is my guide)

So in my last post I allowed my literary attentions to drift away from coastal fauna and instead penned a little prose about coastal flora (and dog wee). This time I'm not even going to write about Cumbria. Mixing it up, flying by the seat of my pants? Nope, I took a train. Drum roll please, for Part One of the London Trilogy.

It's 6am and I'm outside Billingsgate market, courtesy of a taxi driver who did well not to smash into McDonalds on the approach, as he drove with one hand on the wheel, the other over his nose..."What is this Billingsgate? It is fish, yes?"

Billingsgate market is the largest inland fish market in the UK. It opens for trade at 5am and is the place to be for anyone who wants a box of fish before sunrise. They also run a super duper range of courses at the Billingsgate Training School - brilliant, just try and stop me! So there I was, bleary-eyed and bushy-haired, and apparently with a very tense neck:

After enough tea to fully open my eyes and relax the muscles in my neck, my course mates and I set off on a tour of the market expertly guided by the fantastic Ken, who has been in the business for more years than I should tell you (I don't actually know) and who is an absolute legend. Here he is, demonstrating to the group how selling fish is just like conducting an orchestra:

 

Ken had many invaluable tips about buying fish (body tone, body tone, body tone!) and insightful thoughts on why we shouldn't buy dogfish... "that dogfish there? I wouldn't give that to your cat.... and I bet your cat's horrible".

Bah ha brilliant! Now I may be (definitely am) shamelessly adapting this comment to suit my conservation purposes but I like to think it means that dogfish is not only a lovely shark, friend not food, but that it tastes like poop too and therefore the best all-round advice is don't bother eating it.

Me: "Oh, so what you're actually saying is, dogfish tastes like dog poop? Interesting..."
Ken: "that is not what I said. Why I oughta...!" *shakes fist angrily*
Me: *Running away shouting* "dogfish is dog poop!"
Ken:

As part of the tour we bought fish to practice on in the kitchen workshop area later, so I got a couple of gurnard (No, I'm not obsessed) then went around with everyone else trying really hard not to be a know-it-all when we were asked 'who knows what fish this is?' at every box.

Well I failed at that, but I got all the fish right! *smug face*.

Now I can't possibly go any further without advising all you female readers that if you're feeling a bit low in the self esteem department, to take a trip to Billingsgate market - it's a man's world and apparently the men there only communicate with women via the universal language of wolf-whistling. I nearly fell over when, while practically sleeping on my feet and looking like Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall before his haircut (but after a shave), I got my first wolf-whistle of the day. They then came thick and fast, along with the offers to help me cook my fish:

Man: Nice gurnard.

Me: Thanks.

Man: What are you going to do with that?

Me: Cook it.

Man: You need some help with that?

Me: Bye.

After the full tour of the market, including the cold storage area which was really cold, we went up to the kitchen workshop to learn what to do with our fish. Ken showed us a great way to gut and skin a gurnard in one deft manoeuvre which I have since *deep breath* videoed myself doing and attached below *cringes but ploughs on valiantly for the cause*. But before you watch the video, please be aware that I don't know why I say directly to the camera "this is a red gurnard, because it is red" in a weird voice. I also have no idea if the sound or even the video itself will work. What's more (embarrassing), look out for me purposely and repeatedly pricking my thumb on the spines to demonstrate where they are. Want to know something that I didn't? Gurnard is a member of the scorpionfish family. Scorpionfish in general have a protein-based venom in their dorsal spines and while I can't actually find any information anywhere to back up the fact that gurnard spines are venomous, my thumb doesn't usually swell up and increase in temperature on a Friday night. Ah well, you live, stick yourself with gurnard spines, and learn. To be fair it was no big drama, didn't actually hurt, and would be rather easy to avoid so don't be discouraged from having a go.

Final thoughts on gurnard before incredibly-embarrassing-video-time? Well, they have large heads, which I can sympathise with, and they can grunt and growl, which is what I was doing as I was trying to pull my gurnard's large head off. They also make a little girly farty sound as you pull their heads back and their guts come out.
"Urgh pardon you".
"It was the gurnard!"
"Lindsay, you can't blame the gurnard every time."

Now watch the video and never, ever tell me what you think of it.